I don’t want to become that “old curmudgeon” who becomes out of touch with and bitter towards the world. But I admit to being amazed by what I am seeing in our “young adult” culture. And sadly, it is we adults who have created this “mess” for our young people.

It seems to me that collectively we have developed a culture that accepts some strange ideals. The label that has seemed to stick with this youngest generation is snowflake. I am always cautious to use labels. This younger generation is as diverse as any before it. So for sure, many are not snowflakes, whatever exactly that means. I think it means “soft,” not a good word in the world of hockey.

This new culture, it seems, is a world where emotions and “feelings” are seemingly more important than truth or law. Safe spaces have emerged on college campuses as protectors of fragile self-esteems. A mindset of entitlement has become all too common. I want to live long enough to see where it all leads us.

How has this snowflake generation come to being? My generation’s parents were children of the Great Depression, World War II and industrial revolutions, and with these came many a hardship. Independence, working hard and earning your way all were values embraced by a majority of our parents’ culture. Many have called this group “the greatest generation.” They passed along great values to my generation. 

For me, hockey has always epitomized what is important in our culture. Hard work. Accountability. No entitlements, a tool to teach many about what it will take to be successful in our very competitive world. Unfortunately, today’s values and current culture are, in my opinion, fighting back on these ideals. 

If anyone is to “blame” for this change or shift in culture, I blame the adults of my generation. Our leadership has been lacking. We awarded our children trophies for participation … didn’t we know better? Academics tried to tell us to tell our kids how great they were. Build their confidence and self-esteem, they told us, by telling them how special they are. We knew better or at least some did. I think deep down, most know that the only way to build confidence and self-esteem in our children is through their own hard work and the real accomplishments that come from that hard work.  

We should never have hoped that things would be “easier” for our children, as if the struggles of our parents’ generation weren’t greatly beneficial. Hardship is good. We all grow from difficult assignments. We parents wanted a “better” life for our kids. Not a hard life, a better life. So we screwed up by telling our children how great they were and awarding them trophies for no real effort other than getting in their parent’s car and showing up. They have arguably received more recognition and trophies for less effort than any generation before them.   

And the most disturbing result of this nonsense is the low self-esteem of our kids. Go ahead and “search” the subject online. You will find many articles on this subject of our younger generation and self-esteem. In essence, many of these articles address the topic of too much, too early and too easy, leading to some less desirable outcomes for our children. And it makes me sad as it is we adults who stole this opportunity from our children, to develop their own true self confidence by thinking we could make it easier for them. And again, no one to blame but us adults. Even hockey has been affected and there is no end in sight.

This past week, I attended a Twins’ game with some Gopher alumni friends. The talk of the night was that our alma mater had made hockey commitments to a pair of 13- and 14-year-old brothers. We alums thought it another example of where we don’t want our culture to go, for the reasons above. Can boys at the very young age of 13 and 14 have earned a premier Division I commitment? In the picture one of my alum friends showed me, the boys looked younger than their ages. I don’t doubt they possess God-given ability, but as esteemed Gopher alum, former Olympian and many-year pro coach Craig Sarner quipped, “There should at least be a rule that to be recruited, one must least have a learner’s permit to drive.”

I don’t know these brothers. I am going to assume they are wonderful young talents and even wonderful young people. I also, do not know their parents. Likewise, I am going to assume they are loving and caring parents. It must be hard to say “no” to such recognition coming from an elite hockey program. However, I would have recommended they do so. If these young boys are as talented as this recognition suggest they must be, the boys would have multiple choices in their future anyway.

Not to mention that these young boys, if they have a “worldview” at all, that their view may change sometime through their adolescent years. Maybe in a couple or three years, they will aspire for something that is not Gopher hockey. A school with an academic program that better suits their developing hopes and dreams. Or one coach leaves a school and another comes, not quite to their liking or much more to their liking. It happens and kids in similar situations renege on the commitment and go elsewhere. 

And the schools, they renege on their commitments, too. The committed players maybe do not develop to their satisfaction. Why have them come and not play much and not enjoy their college experience … so they are encouraged to attend a school more to “their” liking. So much for teaching the value of commitment.

This trend has been in motion for some time. Top college programs need to stem this tide with superior leadership. More failure by the adults of my generation. Sadly, these are the very institutions that are supposed to be developing our future leaders. 

These two boys are victims of a system that could not regulate itself for the benefit of their future student-athletes. Being victims, in a crazy way, may help them on their college campus where victimization and belonging to a victim group will allow them to fit right in. While I am being facetious, I do believe that committing them at such an early age steals from them the opportunity for the heartfelt and deserved feeling of having earned such a high honor. 

I suspect they will be advised to work hard going forward to earn what has already been bestowed upon them. Nevertheless, wherever they walk, there will be an unavoidable aura of Maroon and Gold surrounding them. This aura will be seen by teammates, opposing competitors, their classmates, teachers, neighbors and really by everyone. More importantly, the boys won’t be able to shake from it. The aura will be with them. It will change their world including potentially undesirable outcomes. In my worldview, they have been cheated, and is most often the case, the adults in the equation are the only ones to blame.

A St. Paul native and forward for the University of Minnesota from 1978-82, Kevin Hartzell coached in the USHL from 1983-89 with the St. Paul Vulcans and from 2005-12 with the Sioux Falls Stampede. He was the head coach of Lillehammer in Norway’s GET-Ligaen from 2012-14. His columns have appeared in Let’s Play Hockey since the late 1980s. His book “Leading From the Ice” is available at amazon.com.